He hurts me but I cannot leave

Kgomotso’s blog was written as part of a series for the Safe at Home, Safe in Relationships Creative Activism Campaign to map the impact of alcohol abuse on intimate partner violence. She was one of many survivors who told their stories of being abused by their partners when drunk.

My name is Kgomotso. My husband and I have three children together. He is verbally and emotionally abusive and it escalates when he is drunk.

Whenever we disagree, he shouts at me and threatens me. When he is drunk his behaviour escalates. Unfortunately, when he buys alcohol, he drinks at home, which means the abuse is quite often. Once he is drunk, he insults and swears at me in front of our children.

His behaviour is becoming worse with each passing year and is now affecting our relationship. I live in fear that one day his insults will turn into physical abuse towards me and my children.

I feel unsafe in my home. I am so afraid of him and so are my children.   I would have him arrested but I am also afraid of what he would do to me or my children. I cannot leave him because I am unemployed. Where would I go?

It makes me dislike alcohol.  If it were up to me, alcohol would be sold far from residential places or its sale would stop altogether.  However, I know that alcohol has created employment for some people. So, we perhaps need to regulate it so people can drink responsibly.

Kgomotso is not her real name and has been changed to protect her identity.

You can read other blogs in the series here

Watch the video on the correlation between alcohol misuse and intimate partner violence here